© Nico Lagan Coaching LLC. All rights reserved 2024
It’s not a question most of us think about asking ourselves, but one thing is certain: being a good person doesn’t make you a good man. You are not born a good man. It is through trials and tribulations that you become one. It’s not easy; it takes time and effort.
Take a minute and ask yourself what a good man is? What does it mean to you?
Chances are you named qualities like honesty, integrity, honor, compassion, reliability, selflessness, respect, responsibility, accountability, strong values, leading by example, self-care, helping others, is there for his family and loved ones. These are all great traits that a good man should possess! But let me ask you this: are these traits something you are born
with, or are they developed and acquired over time? Then there is the question: can someone gain these important attributes alone, or does he need to be taught?
Since the dawn of time, boys have had to prove themselves to be considered a man. They needed to show their family, loved ones, and community that they were ready to take on the responsibilities of becoming a man.
Tribes, societies, and cultures had specific moments where boys were given the opportunity to prove their valor. There were defined moments when boys became men: fatherhood, going to war, and rites of passage are some of these events that marked the transition from childhood to manhood. Different cultures had different methods, but the goal was always the same: boys needed to prove their worth. And those who succeeded were celebrated and, from this day forward, were considered men!
It takes a good man to teach a boy, a young man, or even another man how to become a good man! It’s a good thing because, as men, we are always looking for someone to emulate, someone we look up to. We have a need to mold ourselves after the greats. It’s in our nature. Unfortunately, these rites of passage have all but disappeared from the Western world. Today, boys are not taught responsibilities or discipline and are not provided with the tools required to face the real world. Most boys and young men lack the strong male figure they crave to show them the way. It’s no wonder they are so confused! To add salt to injury, our Western society tries to convince us that strong male attributes are toxic. That they are outdated values that need rectifying. They are to make men into women. Instead of embracing our manliness, learning to control our impulses, and channeling them into something productive, they want us to deny our nature.
The irony in all of this is that the only reason we live in one of the best societies to ever exist is that men possessing these ‘’toxic qualities’’ sacrificed to make it a reality. And without strong masculine men to build, maintain, support, and defend it, our society will crumble and stop to exist. Look around you and tell me that you are not already seeing the side effects of this lack of manliness?
I created The 5 Virtues of a Good Man because of this lack of manliness and strong male influences. I’m hoping that this can help you show you the way. Here are the 5 virtues every man should possess:
#1: Protector
#2: Provider
#3: Courage
#4: Temperance
#5: Faith
“I’d rather be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.” Chinese proverb.
A good man is selfless. He must be ready to lay down his life to protect his family and loved ones. Dying is not enough. A good man will go out swinging, not on his knees like a coward.
Are you ready to die for your family?
Do you know how to protect them?
Do you possess the skills required to defend them?
Are you capable of keeping them safe?
“A good man provides, pampers, and emotionally supports his family. He doesn’t complain about the work. He does the work’’ Nico Lagan.
The second virtue of a good man is to be the provider his family needs him to be. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. In today’s world, it means to have the ability to make money. You also need to be emotionally available to your loved ones.
A man is a women’s rock, while a woman is a man’s weakness.
“Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.” Mark Twain
You need the balls to go after what you want, but this doesn’t mean you have to be fearless. Fearlessness is a psychological problem. It’s normal to have fears. In a life-and-death situation, being scared can be a great advantage. Using fear as a survival mechanism and learning to control it is vital. It will give you superhuman strength and speed. Facing your fears is the only way to gain power over them. You will always have fears, but learning how to control them is what makes you a good man.
“Self-mastery is the challenge of transforming yourself from your own worst enemy into your greatest ally.” Wes Fesler
Temperance is self-mastery. It’s about learning to control the things you have control over. Accept the things you don’t and learn to let them go. You don’t control much, but what you control is powerful beyond measure. Often, the hardest thing to do is to do nothing.
“Faith moves mountains. Doubts create them.” Unknown
Faith is what ties everything together. Not to say this is the most important virtue. All 5 virtues are important, but this one is where the magic happens. It makes everything that seems impossible possible.
Most think of faith as a religious term, but it doesn’t need to be. I’m not a religious person. I am spiritual. I sometimes attend church services and have read the bible, Buddhist scriptures, and my fair share of Gnostic and Stoic philosophies. Faith is always a common trend in every spiritual text I’ve read. In my eyes, faith is indispensable, making it one of the cornerstones of being a good man.
There are 3 types of faith: faith in yourself, in others, and in something bigger than all of us.
As Bruce Lee said, don’t pray for an easy life. Ask for the strength to endure a difficult one!
Becoming a good man is all about embracing your manliness, taking responsibility, learning to control your urges, and channeling them in a constructive way that will help your family, your loved ones, and your community.
Stay tuned because next week, I will start going into the details of The 5 Virtues of a good man.
Until next time, stay manly, brother.
Have you ever felt misunderstood, judged, or restricted in expressing your true masculinity? Tired of keeping taboo or delicate subjects to yourself? Are you wishing there was a place where manliness is not only embraced but required? Where political correctness and the woke agenda have no power?
I have fantastic news for you: I’ve created an exclusive, private Facebook group just for men like you, eager to reclaim their freedom of expression and grow together. A place where every man can be his authentic self without fear of judgment or being labeled.
Join our exclusive brotherhood now: The Legion of Men.
© Nico Lagan Coaching LLC. All rights reserved 2024